


Mutually Assured Seduction

by crazyfangirl221b



Series: A Universe Made of Stars [7]
Category: DCU (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics), Poison Ivy (Comics)
Genre: F/F, Minor Angst, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-21 05:25:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11937246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyfangirl221b/pseuds/crazyfangirl221b
Summary: Poison Ivy is in love with Harley Quinn.Harley Quinn is in love with Poison Ivy.They're trying to figure out how to tell each other. Things do not go as planned.





	Mutually Assured Seduction

Poison Ivy had never exactly belonged among human society, Kingdom Plantae being far more welcoming than Animalia. It was ... unusual that she found a human whose company she could tolerate, much less enjoy. Of course, unusual was probably one of the most polite words used to describe Harley Quinn.

 

If only she felt the same way. Oh, they were _friendly_ of course, with their break-outs and crime sprees, but when Harley joked they were "gal pals," she meant it purely platonically.

 

The most frustrating part of this whole unrequited agony was that Poison Ivy is widely known for seduction. Sure, it's usually just brainwashing crowds of men, and not even remotely applicable to _feelings_ , but - wait - maybe she could get some ideas. At least she could find out how blindly devoted people make their love known.

 

It was really a walk in the park. Ivy already had several strains of flowers that would work and, well, walking around Gotham City Park dropping seeds is an effective and casual way of planting them. A few hours later she had nearly two hundred participants in her little experiment.

 

She sat on her impromptu throne of bark and moss as the men gave her tribute. It appeared to be mostly jewelry, some chocolate, a surprising amount of clothing, and, suddenly, a batarang.

 

It released a cloud of smoke that caused all her thralls to crumple to the ground in a faint. "You think to poison _me_ ," Ivy laughed as she wrapped her vines around the intruder.

 

"Nope!" her small, bright, and squirming captive called back cheerfully. "Just your army. _He's_ gonna take you out."

 

Ivy hear a slight rustling sound to her left. She turned to see a black Kevlar glove curled into a fist and then she was out light a light.

 

She awoke in Arkham, in her regular cell, right across the hall from Harley. She looked over and saw a sniffling bundle of blankets.

 

"Hey, Harls!" She called. "You awake?"

 

The blankets did not respond.

 

"Do you have a cold?" She yelled a bit louder, to no answer. "And... your ears are all stuffed up, aren't they," she finished mostly to herself.

 

Bored, she began meditating to see if there were any plants within her powers range. And... There. Right at her powers edge. She sat straight up. It felt like vegetables. Could they really be that stupid? She laid back down with an audible thump. Breakfast was shaping up to be interesting.

 

By 7:00 the next morning the cafeteria was in chaos. The new hires were screaming. Harley had jumped behind the buffet and was throwing scrambled eggs at people. The walls were crumbling and the fences were being torn from the ground. Killer Croc was eating an entire tray of sausages. Oh, and over a dozen supervillains were released onto the streets of Gotham.

 

In hindsight, probably not the best time to go jewelry shopping. Maybe she should have just googled it.

 

Libraries are wonderful sources of information, and computers. According to her research flowers and handmade gifts also seemed popular. Poison Ivy came to the only logical conclusion: A genetically modified rose, with black and red stripes, that could shoot out water when squeezed.

 

Some gene splicing, some super powers, not leaving her greenhouse for three days, and it was almost ready. She just had to figure out where Harley had holed up.

 

She tucked one rose in the button hole of her coat, looked over the half-acre of others one last time, and set off to check every abandoned fun house and theme park in Gotham. There were more than a few.

 

A lot more.

 

Maybe several lots.

 

Fourteen hours later, with no sign of her lady love, Ivy was beginning to get discouraged. Perhaps it was time to ask for help. Selina might know where Harley was hiding, and she probably had snacks.

 

With new resolve Ivy stood from the bench where she had been sitting. In the distance she heard screams of fear, then a muffled explosion. Then Ivy felt her flowers burn.

 

If she screamed, it was lost among the cacophony. If she didn't, it was only because the breath had left her lungs. Her legs buckled and she collapsed back onto the bench, gripping the armrest with white-knuckled pain. Tears prickled in her eyes as she felt her plants slowly boil in the water she'd designed them to hoard. In seconds that felt like hours, she was able to breathe again as the last of the greenhouse burned and the final plants died.

 

With trembling fingers, she gently stroked the petals of her last remaining flower, tucked safely by her heart. Selina's place was looking like a better idea every minute.

 

Unsteadily, Ivy rose to her feet and walked to her friend's penthouse in a daze. Later, she would barely remember taking the heavy concrete planter she passed. Or of tenderly transplanting its inhabitants into more frequently watered soil.

 

She did remember taking the flower from her lapel and coaxing it to root and spread. She strengthened its tendrils until it could "walk" with the pot on its own then went on, leaningÂ  on it for support.

 

She reached Selina's apartment building still feeling like there was a hole in her heart. She called the sapling growing in the courtyard to grow to towering heights and it deposited her on a balcony three stories below Selina's with a lovely English Ivy hanging basket. The vines carried her up the wall, bypassing Catwoman's Anti-Bat alarms.

 

Clutching the planter in her arms she started to enter, then stopped when she heard a familiar sobbing and Selina's soothing voice.

 

"... so I thought fireworks, give her a smooch and light up the sky! All that jazz! But then Scarecrow blew up the warehouse! I saw flowers," here Harley interrupted herself with tears again. "It had to be her! I blew up her flowers and now she'll never love me!"

 

"She doesn't know it was yours," Selina comforted gently as Harley hiccupped. "And Ivy seduces men, okay, she's never seduced."

 

Ivy' breath caught in her throat, Harley did love her. Almost as if of their own accord her rose grew into the building, climbing up the wall and blooming in the shape of a heart with a message inside "H&I."

 

"Almost never seduced." Selina corrected with a grin in her voice.

 

Harley's delighted gasp was Ivy's cue to knock on the sliding glass door and step inside. "Is this a private party or is anyone invited?" Ivy asked with a shy grin.

 

"But your flowers..." Harley asked, standing and walking towards her slowly, like she was afraid she might spook her.

 

Ivy pulled a bud off of the vines and squirted it at her love. "Harlequin clowns, harlequin romance, Harley Quinn's seltzer roses." Ivy stepped forward to cover the distance between them and cupped Harley's face in her hands, wiping away the last of her tears. "Do you like them?"

 

To answer Harley leaned up to kiss her on the cheek.

 

"You call that a kiss?" Ivy teased.

 

"Well," Harley said, wiggling her eyebrows, "would you like to demonstrate a better one?"

 

Ivy leaned down explored Harley's lips with her own. They broke away when they needed air, all too soon, but breathless and grinning. As Ivy pulled her girlfriend closer, she wished she never had to let go. They wandered out to the balcony to sit, arms entwined, watching Gotham by the moonlight.

 

Only some of it was on fire.


End file.
